Bullying: The New Face of Intolerance

Bullying has been at the forefront of the news world for many years, however we still refuse to call it what it truly is. Bullying is intolerance and can be placed in the same category as discrimination, racism, prejudice, and any other hate driven act. All of the attitudes in this category are acts of bullying, and can be traced back to behavior taught or tolerated while the perpetrators were children.

A child (or group of children) picking on or victimizing another child (or group) is labeled as bullying, and the discussion seems to end there. We ignore the possibility that there may be underlying facts. Bullies tend to pick on the child that is different, away from the pack so to speak.

We teach our children at a young age that racism and discrimination are wrong with the hope that they carry those lessons through life. A bully who victimizes a child who is different has not learned that lesson. Picking on a child because their skin, accent, race, mannerisms, or culture is a different form of racism and discrimination. This intolerance cannot be tolerated any further.

Let’s stop putting the band aid on the situation by calling the perpetrator a bully and call them what they truly are: a Bigot. If the parents of a bully were brought into the school office and told their son or daughter is a “racist, discriminatory, and intolerant bigot”, I guarantee the situation would be looked at as more that just kids being kids.

We need to stop dismissing the reality of the situation and deal with it like adults. Bigotry would not be tolerated in an adult setting. Why is it tolerated in a school setting? We need to stop talking about a zero tolerance policy on bullying and start implementing an education policy on how bullying is intolerance.

This would constitute one step in the right direction. The next step is to empower children by providing access to anti-bullying self defense programs geared towards building self confidence, unity, and identity.

I believe that you can categorize types of bully behavior.

The lion- This bully is like a predator. Their hunting ground is the school, schoolyard, or neighborhood. He/she surveys this area looking to test their victim. Initially acting alone this bully may recruit others to increase their influence. The method of bullying tends to be physical. They utilize size and strength to make up for a lack of confidence.

The hyena- This bully is a scavenger, living off the scraps of the lion. He/she will be an instigator in an attempt to gain favor and avoid the wrath of the lion. This bully is a coward who tends to bully in a pack. Their lack of size and strength is compensated with emotional and psychological abuse towards the victim. Pleasure is derived from the suffering of others and mocking the victim: laughing at the victim is typical of this bully. If isolated and confronted, they will more likely run or try to negotiate their safety.

The peacock- Characteristics consist of being attractive and popular and tend to ostracize as their form of bullying. They maintain a strong core of “friends” based on fear. Fear of being cast out of the group keeps the core group intact. The tactics used by this bully will include secrecy, spreading lies and rumors, and having underlings perform pranks on victims. The ability to manipulate is the main strength of this bully. Often pretending to befriend the victim and then mocking them behind their back. This bully will increase his/her strength by recruiting victims who know the best way to avoid the abuse is to join the abusers. This is comparable to Stockholm syndrome where the oppressed become the oppressor.

Now I could go on and on about each of these main bullies and identify more; however, my point is that each of these bullies can only operate if not acted upon by a force of authority. The zero tolerance policy must actually be put into action. Parents must be notified. The “don’t be a snitch, or rat” attitude must be dealt with.

The practice of confronting your accuser must be cast aside…. It doesn’t work. This is a face to face meeting between bully and victim with the principal or teacher present. There are more than a few things that can go wrong with this.

• The bully now knows which victim turned him/her in.
• The bully may retaliate and escalate the abuse.
• The bully will find the individual off school grounds, or during school break.
• The bully will recruit an underling and put a “hit” out on the accuser.
• The bully will move on to the next victim spreading the abuse.

Another common practice formerly stressed by parents is to recommend that their child stand up to the bully or even fight the bully. This can backfire in more ways than one.

• Your child gets beat up, and the violence increases.
• The bully and his underlings gang up on the child causing severe trauma.
• The child is expelled for fighting.
• The child learns that violence is the best method to resolve conflict.
• The child becomes a bully.

So what do we need to do???

• Make anti-bullying training available to students.
• Educate the children on intolerance and bullying.
• Supervision at all ages

I recommend that the zero tolerance policy be altered as such:

• NO face to face, confront your bully meeting.
• The victim shall not be identified to the bully.
• The victim should be able to register a complaint.
• The victim shall be interviewed for details of the occurrence.
• Utilizing the details an investigation and monitoring of the situation will commence.
• Investigator identifies act of bullying based on registered complaint and interview.
• Immediate action taken against bully by the investigator.
• Meeting with parents

This process allows the victim to remain anonymous to the bully as the person who turned them in. 

The bully will believe that they were caught in the act by the investigator/supervisor. This limits repercussions for the victim. Evidence from the investigation will be presented to parent(s) (this limits the “kids being kids” response). A two strike rule to be established to deal with bullying (depending on the severity of the situation); one strike for the initial infraction, this constitutes one chance to change behavior (unless behavior is severe and warrants automatic expulsion), and the second infraction is automatic expulsion.

Our thoughts and hearts go out to all the bullying victims. Our inaction or ineffective policies as authority figures need to change. We must not fail anymore children. Amanda Todd being one of the most recent children we failed. Rest in peace, Amanda.

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