Recently, there was an article in the National Post which
really caught my eye. It tells the story of a 12 year old bully victim in New
Brunswick. According to the article, a school has hired a “bodyguard” for the
gay and overweight child. Bullies have kicked, punched, pushed, and taunted
him.
The “bodyguard” is assigned to follow this child around
every minute of every day at school. If he wants to go to the washroom, the “bodyguard”
accompanies him. It seems that maybe more so than a “bodyguard”, this staff
member is a babysitter.
I can just imagine the taunting’s now; “Where’s your
babysitter now fatty?”; “Look at the baby who needs someone to take them to the
bathroom.”
You get the point.
The first question that comes to my mind is what has been
done already to fix the problem? Have the parents of the bullies been
confronted? Have the bullies themselves been identified and disciplined? What
else have the victim’s parents done to help their child?
Now, we can all see what the school is trying to accomplish.
We can only assume that the situation, as it seems, has gotten to a point where
the child’s safety is obviously in jeopardy. But is putting a perpetual guard
on duty the answer?
Did anyone ask this kid what he thinks? Yes, they did. The
kid says that, “I don’t really like it because I’m losing a lot of friends
because she’s there. She has to know whatever anybody tells me or whatever I
say. I can’t keep anything from her.”
Why do we insist on band aid solutions? Are we, as a
society, getting so political sensitive (notice I didn’t say correct) that we
are becoming blind to the real issues and solutions?
One thing will never change, no matter what. No amount of
bodyguards, counselling, or any other type of new-age techniques will help this
kid.
Right now, and probably for a while, this kid has probably
had an empty feeling inside his stomach. That feeling is fear. It is lack of
self-confidence. It is hopelessness.
The feelings of fear, lack of self-confidence, and
hopelessness can lead to grave consequences: such as homicidal outbursts, suicide, or being subjected to lifelong inner torment.
There is only one true way to make that feeling go away:
empowerment. Give this kid the power to handle himself, without a bodyguard.
We, as parents, follow the same steps raising a child. When
your kid is learning how to walk, you help them sturdy themselves, but then you
let them go. Sooner than later, you kid will have to know how to dress them-self
Are you going to continue to dress your kid when they’re 12 years old? I don’t
think so.
We, as parents, have to let them go eventually. It will be
OK. As long as we give them the tools they need. That is the key.
In the article, it states that this kid is getting punched
and kicked. You never want to see that happen to your kid, as well as any other
kid.
You have some people who will say that he needs to punch
back, or kick back. They say through him in some marital art where they punch
and kick, over, and over, and over again. Maybe with a little luck after year
or so, he’ll be able to punch and kick effectively. In the meantime, well…good
luck.
What is greater than the feeling of punching or kicking
someone into a bloody pulp? What is more embarrassing for your attacker than getting
the “beep” kicked out of them, while being legally conscious?
The answer: The ability to not get hit.
"You can't hurt me anymore."
Imagine the feeling of empowerment this kid will have if he
learns how to not get hit by a punch or kick. What is better than making your aggressor
look like a fool? And the beauty of it is that it actually doesn't take that
long to learn.
The last thing this kid needs to learn is how to kick and
punch. That’s where the misconception lies among parents who think that’s what
self defense is. It is, in essence, what the name implies: the defense of
oneself. Nowhere does it say that self defense is about kicking and punching.
Siu Lum Canada offers an Anti-Bully course, with an emphasis
on no kicking and no punching. The program teaches kids about confidence,
empowerment, and true self defense. It teaches the kids about self-awareness
and how to avoid confrontation before it actually is a confrontation.
Most importantly, it takes away that empty feeling.
Siu Lum Canada is Winnipeg's Shaolin school. We teach the
Siu Lum style of kung fu. Our training revolves around real life situations and
real life solutions. There is no question that we will not answer.
Watch our video and get a glimpse of what we do at SiuLumCanada.
Follow us on Twitter at @SiuLumCanada
Find us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Siu-Lum-Canada/371969609504305
Email us at siulumkungfu@gmail.com
Written by a Siu Lum Canada associate, with permission from Tim Simpson
